CLASSROOM ETIQUETTE
Illustrated Edition

BEFORE YOU EVEN COME TO CLASS. . .

RELIEVE YOURSELF
(Barring real emergencies, you should not be getting up
in the middle of class for a potty break; this is not
high school where you can afford to miss a lecture
and pick it up again a week later)

TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE
(I sincerely doubt you're so important that missing a call
will adversely affect the fate of the universe)
 

NO NOs. . .

ASSUMING THAT PERFUME/COLOGNE IS
A SUBSTITUTE FOR BATHING

(If I can smell you, you've got
 WAY too much on)
 

DOING HOMEWORK FOR ANOTHER CLASS
DURING THE LECTURES
 

WORKING ON YOUR SOCIAL CALENDAR
DURING LECTURES
 

PICKING NOSES, SCABS, OR ACNE
AND CHEWING FINGERS

(Aside from being socially unacceptable,
they’re usually done with the
writing hand)
 

ASKING, "DO WE NEED TO KNOW THIS FOR THE EXAM?"
(Sorry, you have to know everything!)
 

ACTING LIKE YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE BETTER TO BE

(Simply put, this is the best place to be)
 

PLAYING WITH PIERCINGS (TONGUE, NAVEL, NOSE, ETC.)

 
 

MAKING ANNOYING NOISES DURING LECTURES

 
 

TALKING TO/PLAYING WITH OTHERS DURING THE LECTURES

 
 

BLOWING BUBBLES, SNAPPING, OR
OTHERWISE PLAYING WITH GUM

Disclaimer: if you are Shirley Manson, you can do whatever you like in my class!
 

YAWNING WITH AN OPEN MOUTH

 
 

WATCHING THE CLOCK

 
 

SLEEPING IN CLASS

 
 

ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE DISTRACTING TO ME AND OTHERS
AND SHOULDN'T BE DONE IN POLITE SOCIETY ANYWAY.
DEPENDING ON MY MOOD, DOING ANY OF THE ABOVE
MAY DRAW MY WRATH, RANCOR, IRE, RAPIER WIT, ETC.
 

IT IS O.K. TO. . .

USE YOUR INTELLECT
TAPE RECORD LECTURES
QUESTION WHAT YOU ARE BEING TOLD
INTERRUPT TO ASK A PERTINENT QUESTION
INTERRUPT TO MAKE AN INTERESTING COMMENT
QUIETLY DRINK IN CLASS
(Non-alcoholic beverages only, please)

REMEMBER:

THIS CLASS IS NOT SO LARGE THAT YOU CAN BECOME INVISIBLE,
SO WATCH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE. SCOWLING, SLOUCHING,
SLEEPING, YAWNING, OR OTHER OVERT EXPRESSIONS OF
BOREDOM WILL DRAW MY ATTENTION; DON'T BE SURPRISED
IF I STOP AND ASK WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!
 

Updated March 29, 2004
 

I am currently looking to fill in the rest of the No No's list!
If anyone has a good image or is willing to pose for one, let me know!
 
 
 

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